What's way BETTER than Mommy Blogs...?

WOMBAT blogs, of course! Check it out here: But Not for Lunch


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Even SCARIER than Mommy Blogs!

"The chance to be a spokesmodel is actually a life-long dream...."

Yes, that's a direct quote from a participant in the "Ms. Planet Beach International" contest, which was randomly on my TV when I turned it on this afternoon.

Seriously... scary.

Saturday!

I am SOOOOO happy it's Saturday! I really needed one. Last night, while reaching from in-bed to the nightstand for the Chapstick, I inadvertently knocked the alarm clock into the trash can. And I left it there. TAKE THAT, stoopid alarm!

When I do eventually decide to be productive, the Wombat and I are going to go to Star Nursery where they currently have 5 gallon mock-orange and red-tipped photina shrubs on sale for 50% off - only $5.88! 3 or 4 of these along with the two pink hawthorns I got a couple of weeks ago, combined with the exisiting globe willow, lilac bush (thanks Kathy P.!), two star jasmine vines, and two honeysuckle vines should complete the major shrubbery on the back yard. There are already various lillies, snapdragons, etc. so we just need more bedding flowers and of course the all-important GRASS.

There are pictures from last weekend's yard work, with more to come. I'll post some of them because I know you're DYING to see them!

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A peeve

Okay, some folks are going to find this kinda mean, but I'm going to say it anyway:

Anyone who calls herself "mommy" repeatedly on her own blog, or who markets herself as a "mommy blogger" immediately earn my mockery. They may have great blogs (well, it's possible, isn't it?), but the overwhelming "mommy aura" puts me off. I read plenty of great blogs by intelligent, interesting women who are moms, and I have nothing against mom-ness. It's the "mommy blog" genre as a concept that grates on me.

Somehow I see this as connected, though I'm not sure why: Yet another whine from a first-year teacher who's pregnant and doesn't have enough days for a paid six-week leave appeared in my email in-box this week. Sorry Chickie, but NO! See this post for the reasons why.

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Dancing With the Stars

I guess it's kinda cool that Apple Dude Steve Wozniak is on ABC's Dancing with the Stars (that's WOZ, not Steve-"I'm-really-not-on-death's-door"-Jobs). Nerds can be arty, too!

Judge Bruno's description of Woz's performance as being "hilarious and delirious" and the comparison to a Teletubby (what, on LSD?!) were right on the mark.

However... the "behind the scenes" shots of the MASSIVE SWEAT RINGS on Woz's t-shirts (and there was quite a bit of footage on this) was NOT enjoyable - EUWWWWWWWWW!!!!!


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More Nerdly Stuff

Modern Library’s 100 Best Novels

The Board’s List:

1. ULYSSES by James Joyce (X)
2. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald (X)
3. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce (X)
4. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov (X)
5. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley (X)
6. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
7. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller (X)
8. DARKNESS AT NOON by Arthur Koestler
9. SONS AND LOVERS by D.H. Lawrence
10. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
11. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
12. THE WAY OF ALL FLESH by Samuel Butler
13. 1984 by George Orwell (X)
14. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
15. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
16. AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY by Theodore Dreiser
17. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
18. SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut (X)
19. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
20. NATIVE SON by Richard Wright (X)
21. HENDERSON THE RAIN KING by Saul Bellow
22. APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA by John O'Hara
23. U.S.A. (trilogy) by John Dos Passos
24. WINESBURG, OHIO by Sherwood Anderson (X)
25. A PASSAGE TO INDIA by E.M. Forster
26. THE WINGS OF THE DOVE by Henry James
27. THE AMBASSADORS by Henry James
28. TENDER IS THE NIGHT by F. Scott Fitzgerald (X)
29. THE STUDS LONIGAN TRILOGY by James T. Farrell
30. THE GOOD SOLDIER by Ford Madox Ford
31. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell (X)
32. THE GOLDEN BOWL by Henry James
33. SISTER CARRIE by Theodore Dreiser
34. A HANDFUL OF DUST by Evelyn Waugh
35. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
36. ALL THE KING'S MEN by Robert Penn Warren
37. THE BRIDGE OF SAN LUIS REY by Thornton Wilder
38. HOWARDS END by E.M. Forster
39. GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin
40. THE HEART OF THE MATTER by Graham Greene
41. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding (X)
42. DELIVERANCE by James Dickey (X)
43. A DANCE TO THE MUSIC OF TIME (series) by Anthony Powell
44. POINT COUNTER POINT by Aldous Huxley
45. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway (X)
46. THE SECRET AGENT by Joseph Conrad
47. NOSTROMO by Joseph Conrad
48. THE RAINBOW by D.H. Lawrence
49. WOMEN IN LOVE by D.H. Lawrence
50. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
51. THE NAKED AND THE DEAD by Norman Mailer
52. PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT by Philip Roth
53. PALE FIRE by Vladimir Nabokov
54. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
55. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac (X)
56. THE MALTESE FALCON by Dashiell Hammett
57. PARADE'S END by Ford Madox Ford
58. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE by Edith Wharton
59. ZULEIKA DOBSON by Max Beerbohm
60. THE MOVIEGOER by Walker Percy
61. DEATH COMES FOR THE ARCHBISHOP by Willa Cather
62. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY by James Jones
63. THE WAPSHOT CHRONICLES by John Cheever
64. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger (X)
65. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
66. OF HUMAN BONDAGE by W. Somerset Maugham
67. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
68. MAIN STREET by Sinclair Lewis (X)
69. THE HOUSE OF MIRTH by Edith Wharton
70. THE ALEXANDRIA QUARTET by Lawrence Durell
71. A HIGH WIND IN JAMAICA by Richard Hughes
72. A HOUSE FOR MR BISWAS by V.S. Naipaul
73. THE DAY OF THE LOCUST by Nathanael West
74. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway (X)
75. SCOOP by Evelyn Waugh
76. THE PRIME OF MISS JEAN BRODIE by Muriel Spark
77. FINNEGANS WAKE by James Joyce
78. KIM by Rudyard Kipling
79. A ROOM WITH A VIEW by E.M. Forster
80. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
81. THE ADVENTURES OF AUGIE MARCH by Saul Bellow
82. ANGLE OF REPOSE by Wallace Stegner
83. A BEND IN THE RIVER by V.S. Naipaul
84. THE DEATH OF THE HEART by Elizabeth Bowen
85. LORD JIM by Joseph Conrad
86. RAGTIME by E.L. Doctorow
87. THE OLD WIVES' TALE by Arnold Bennett
88. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
89. LOVING by Henry Green
90. MIDNIGHT'S CHILDREN by Salman Rushdie
91. TOBACCO ROAD by Erskine Caldwell
92. IRONWEED by William Kennedy
93. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
94. WIDE SARGASSO SEA by Jean Rhys
95. UNDER THE NET by Iris Murdoch
96. SOPHIE'S CHOICE by William Styron
97. THE SHELTERING SKY by Paul Bowles
98. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE by James M. Cain
99. THE GINGER MAN by J.P. Donleavy
100. THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS by Booth Tarkington

MY TOTAL = 19. Not too great!

The Readers' Poll List:

1. ATLAS SHRUGGED by Ayn Rand
2. THE FOUNTAINHEAD by Ayn Rand
3. BATTLEFIELD EARTH by L. Ron Hubbard
4. THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkien
5. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee (X)
6. 1984 by George Orwell (X)
7. ANTHEM by Ayn Rand
8. WE THE LIVING by Ayn Rand
9. MISSION EARTH by L. Ron Hubbard
10. FEAR by L. Ron Hubbard
11. ULYSSES by James Joyce (X)
12. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller (X)
13. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald (X)
14. DUNE by Frank Herbert
15. THE MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS by Robert Heinlein
16. STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND by Robert Heinlein
17. A TOWN LIKE ALICE by Nevil Shute (X)
18. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley (X)
19. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger (X)
20. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell (X)
21. GRAVITY'S RAINBOW by Thomas Pynchon
22. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
23. SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut (X)
24. GONE WITH THE WIND by Margaret Mitchell (X)
25. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
26. SHANE by Jack Schaefer
27. TRUSTEE FROM THE TOOLROOM by Nevil Shute
28. A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY by John Irving (X)
29. THE STAND by Stephen King
30. THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT'S WOMAN by John Fowles
31. BELOVED by Toni Morrison
32. THE WORM OUROBOROS by E.R. Eddison
33. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
34. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov (X)
35. MOONHEART by Charles de Lint
36. ABSALOM, ABSALOM! by William Faulkner
37. OF HUMAN BONDAGE by W. Somerset Maugham
38. WISE BLOOD by Flannery O'Connor
39. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
40. FIFTH BUSINESS by Robertson Davies
41. SOMEPLACE TO BE FLYING by Charles de Lint
42. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac (X)
43. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
44. YARROW by Charles de Lint
45. AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS by H.P. Lovecraft
46. ONE LONELY NIGHT by Mickey Spillane
47. MEMORY AND DREAM by Charles de Lint
48. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
49. THE MOVIEGOER by Walker Percy
50. TRADER by Charles de Lint
51. THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY by Douglas Adams
52. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
53. THE HANDMAID'S TALE by Margaret Atwood (X)
54. BLOOD MERIDIAN by Cormac McCarthy
55. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
56. ON THE BEACH by Nevil Shute
57. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce (X)
58. GREENMANTLE by Charles de Lint
59. ENDER'S GAME by Orson Scott Card
60. THE LITTLE COUNTRY by Charles de Lint
61. THE RECOGNITIONS by William Gaddis
62. STARSHIP TROOPERS by Robert Heinlein
63. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway (X)
64. THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP by John Irving (X)
65. SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES by Ray Bradbury (X)
66. THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE by Shirley Jackson
67. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
68. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
69. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
70. THE WOOD WIFE by Terri Windling
71. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
72. THE DOOR INTO SUMMER by Robert Heinlein
73. ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE by Robert Pirsig
74. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
75. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
76. AT SWIM-TWO-BIRDS by Flann O'Brien
77. FARENHEIT 451 by Ray Bradbury
78. ARROWSMITH by Sinclair Lewis
79. WATERSHIP DOWN by Richard Adams
80. NAKED LUNCH by William S. Burroughs
81. THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER by Tom Clancy
82. GUILTY PLEASURES by Laurell K. Hamilton
83. THE PUPPET MASTERS by Robert Heinlein
84. IT by Stephen King (X)
85. V. by Thomas Pynchon
86. DOUBLE STAR by Robert Heinlein
87. CITIZEN OF THE GALAXY by Robert Heinlein
88. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
89. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
90. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST by Ken Kesey (X)
91. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway (X)
92. THE SHELTERING SKY by Paul Bowles
93. SOMETIMES A GREAT NOTION by Ken Kesey
94. MY ANTONIA by Willa Cather
95. MULENGRO by Charles de Lint
96. SUTTREE by Cormac McCarthy
97. MYTHAGO WOOD by Robert Holdstock
98. ILLUSIONS by Richard Bach
99. THE CUNNING MAN by Robertson Davies
100. THE SATANIC VERSES by Salman Rushdie

MY TOTAL = 23. What’s with the plethora of Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard?

I’m going to my Amazon wish list right now to add some of the “missing titles.” It’s good to have a goal in life! (Or, so I’ve heard…)

Click here to go to Modern Library's site and see for yourself.

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This is an email being forwarded around Utah right now - funny, and mostly true! It has been attributed to Jeff Foxworthy (of Blue Collar Comedy fame; don't know if that's true), but whoever came up with it, they're pretty much on the money.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in Utah.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Utah.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah.

If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Utah.

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Utah.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah.

If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Utah.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah.

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Utah.

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends, you live in Utah!

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How do you know when...

...it's time for reading glasses?

At night, reading in my fabulous purple leather recliner at home, I notice that it is MUCH easier if I am wearing glasses rather than contacts. But perhaps this is due to some sort of lighting issue (such as glare from the overhead recessed lights)?

However, while I can certainly see and read my computer screen at work (it is, after all, a giant Apple Cinema monitor that sits about 18 inches from my face; and yes, I can also easily read the MacBook itself which is off to the side of my desk) I do note a feeling of... strain. Like the eyeballs are really workin' it.

Am I THAT old???

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Another Fun Thingie

Your Mafia Name Is Mimi "Big Tuna" Fischetti

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

What's Your Mafia Name?

World Water Week

Check out the TAP PROJECT, which is part of World Water Week (click here). The concept is that instead of giving you a glass of tap water for free, which of course is the usual practice, participating restaurants will charge $1.00 for the water and then donate the funds to a program that builds sustainable drinking water systems in developing parts of the world. We don't realize it from our comfy perch of being a 21st century developed nation, but access to clean drinking water is a huge issue in many parts of the world.

Of course, no restaurants in my area are listed as taking part, but plenty of establishments in major cities are. So if you can, pay for a glass of water in a restaurant during the week of March 22 - 28 and do a tiny thing to help create a major change.

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Ten Things Tuesday - local edition

One of my favorite bloggers, Mrs. Chili of The Blue Door (see the link on the side bar) wrote today about the 10 reasons why she loves where she lives. I’m stealing from her, because I think it’s good to stop and pause and think about the GOOD things about where one is (physically and mentally) once in a while.

So here are my 10 reasons for feeling pretty happy and settled in my little corner of the Intermountain West:

1. The scenery – It’s flat-out beautiful here. Red rocks, blue skies, alpine mountains and sandy desert all rolled up together. We have canyons, lakes, trails, and volcanoes galore. In the winter I look at snow-covered mountains from my front porch, tulips and daffodils bloom in the spring, and I can float on a lake roasting in the summer sun.

2. The parks – I can do any easy day trip to my choice of three amazing national parks, ones tourists come from all over the world to get the chance to see. The state and regional parks are also incredible, with a myriad of options for recreation and relaxation.

3. The space – Although the area has grown by leaps and bounds, compared to the dense northern and southern California cities where I used to live, there is space galore here. My home shares no common walls with anyone else, there is open desert on the other side of my back fence, the sidewalks downtown aren’t packed, and while Costco and Walmart may be busy at certain times of the day or week, entering a retail establishment is not a constant exercise in battling an unruly crowd to purchase a few groceries.

4. The pace – Life is a little slower and gentler here than it is in major urban centers. Most of the time you can get to a movie 15 minutes before it starts and be assured of both a parking place and a seat, with time for buying popcorn in between. The line at Starbucks rarely exceeds 3 cars, even at “rush hour.” In actuality, there isn’t really a rush hour. Yes, the Boulevard is busy at noon and at 5:00, but not horrendously so. Things happen in their own time, and there isn’t the frenetic rush of city life.

5. The people – It’s hard, being an “outsider” in relation to the dominant culture/religion here. However, on a personal level I have met some truly wonderful people who simply want to live good lives as good people. I’ve made friends here of the “2 a.m.” variety who I believe will be a part of my life forever. You can’t ask for more than that.

6. The professional opportunities – I toiled for seven years working in under-performing public schools in two major California school districts. I loved my students, I loved my colleagues, I loved what I did every day, but in the end I felt relatively powerless to effect change on a broader level. I felt like I was serving a worthy cause, but at the end of the seventh year I was doing the exact same thing I was at the start of the first year. My participation in the ACLU/Williams v. California case gave me a taste of what could be accomplished on a larger scale, but there was little opportunity to do so. In the five years I’ve been here, I’ve worked for two amazing, dynamic principals who mentored me and help me grow wings to fly. I‘ve worked at the district level, creating a much-needed program form the ground up and learned from some incredibly smart and talented people along the way. I’ve been involved in grant projects, technology projects, professional development opportunities, and other programs that would be nearly inaccessible in larger school districts. I served not just as a building representative, but as an elected board member of my local labor association, a process I feel strongly about. I was appointed to the state educational ethics commission and currently serve on the board of a major professional organization in my field of focus. I’ve developed several conference presentations and professional development workshops on technology and specific instructional areas. I wrote the design for the state-wide program for which I currently serve as Director, and through this work I interact regularly with state lawmakers, university professors, and other influential people, giving me the opportunity to advocate for teachers and students in a major way. I point these things not to toot my own horn, but rather to highlight the fact that the opportunities exist here to be involved at a level that seemed impossible in my previous locations.

7. The health care – 18 months ago Wombat was diagnosed with a horrible, late-stage cancer. And kidney failure. And dangerously out-of-control hypertension. Today she is cancer-free, has normal blood pressure, and her kidney function is increasing, not declining. The care she received was medically and technologically cutting-edge, compassionate, and well coordinated. I am quite aware that not every person has such an over-all positive experience in the world of health care, even here. But I have a happy, healthy mommy today because of the University of Utah, Intermountain Healthcare, and Drs. Lemmon, Donaldson, Taylor, Carter, Welsh, Ray, and Worwood. They deserve to have their names listed, and so I will, because I am so incredibly grateful to still have my mom.

8. The family – Moving here resulted in a strange confluence of events that brought together me, Brother Igor and Mrs. Igor and Niece and Nephew, and Wombat and GolfDad – this is my nuclear family (along with DarlingMan, and we’ll get to him in a minute). GrandmaT is here, as was the late GrandpaE, Travellin’Dad and CrochetMom were here for awhile, but their travellin’ urges took them away. Regardless, this place has given me the opportunity to live within my family, to be a part of each other’s daily lives, to know each other as adults, to see Niece and Nephew grow up. That’s priceless.

9. DarlingMan – I found him here. The right person, in the right place, at the right time. That says it all.

10. All of the above – there isn’t a #10… just read #s 1 – 9 over and over and you’ll have the complete picture.

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GREATEST TV SHOW OF ALL TIME

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Oooooooh, A-7... wait a minute!

Another buggy commercial: The one for Milky Way candy bars, with the woman cooing seductively "oooooooh, A-7..." to the Milky Way bar in the candy machine. The problem is, if you look at the machine, the Milky Way in the A-7 position is clearly at the far RIGHT of the machine. How could this be the "A" position? Typically candy machines Start with A-1 in the upper LEFT corner. I just can't see that an item in the A column would be on the RIGHT.

I suppose that the machine in the commercial could have the ROWS lettered, in which case A would extend to the right side. But it also looks to me like the Milky Way in question is in a position near the bottom of the machine, and if the ROW was "A," wouldn't that likely be at the top?

Can anyone explain this to me???

Soccer, Baby!

Okay, is anyone else kind of creeped out by the constant "Essure" birth control commercials (the one with the mom on the soccer field ruminating on family size and her fear of unplanned pregnancy)? I'm not sure whay this bothers me; I'm all for reproductive choice, modern methods of birth control, etc.

I think it's just the play of faked-naked emotions on the soccer mom's face as she ponders these Big Issues in the middle of the public park.

The other kind of scary thing is the number and variety of bizzare images that came up when I Googled "soccer baby." Go on, you know you want to try it!

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A Scarily Accurate Description of Yours Truly!

You Are Caramel deLites / Samosas

You are blessed with a brilliant, dynamic mind. It's sometimes hard to figure out what your focus should be. You're the type of person who does almost everything well. You are very competent but also unfocused. You're not an easy person to pin down. You are vibrantly complex. You have many facets to your personality, and they're often in competition with one another.

What Girl Scout Cookie Are You?