What Do Teachers Make? (a "Survivor" follow-up)

Yesterday's post might have been just slightly cranky-pants, so here's the follow up (also currently making the rounds of the Interwebz):



What do Teachers Make?

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One ma, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education.

He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: 'Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.'

To emphasize his point he said to another guest; 'You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest, what do you make?'

(She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an IPod, Game Cube, or movie rental.

You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each person at the table.)

"I make kids wonder.

I make them question.

I make them apologize and mean it.

I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them to write and them I make them write... Keyboarding isn't everything.

I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math. They use their God-given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, One Nation Under God, because we live in the United States of America.

I make them understand that if they use the gives they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life."

(Bonnie paused one last time, then continued.)

"Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant... You want to know what I make?

I MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

What do you make Mr. CEO?"

His jaw dropped, and he went silent.

~Mamie "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!" (Hunter S. Thompson)

Survival, Public Education Style

This has been floating around the Interwebz for a while.  Every time I see it I want to  send it to about a hojillion times to certain politicians and "pundits." Instead, I'll just share it with you. And let me remind you, this really ISN'T an exaggeration of survival as a public school teacher!

Next Season on Survivor...

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school classroom for one school year. Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum, and a class of 25 students,with no aide.

Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.H.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least three days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and the drills for shooting attacks each month. They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, and attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the tests. If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times. If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be held responsible.

Lunch will be limited to twenty minutes, which is not counted as part of the work day. The business people will be permitted to use a student restroom, as long as another survival candidate can supervise their class.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before, or after, school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit of copies. The business people must continually advance their education, at their expense, and on their own time.

The winner of this season of "Survivor" will be allowed to return to their OLD job.

Pass this to your friends who think teaching is easy, and to the ones that know it is hard...

~Mamie "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!" (Hunter S. Thompson)

My "Black Friday" plans...

~Mamie "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!" (Hunter S. Thompson)

Four-footed Food Bank

This is something to think about in tough times and as the holidays approach. Please help animals in need! Click on the link to an interesting story in the LA Times.

Food bank for the four-footed - latimes.com

Image credit

~Mamie "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!" (Hunter S. Thompson)

Teaching Tuesday

I had a Ten Things Tuesday post ready to go, except for some photos I wanted to add. However, due to a camera FAIL that post won't be happening today. It was a post about school, so I'm going to direct you to a substitute school-related article instead.

EVERYONE needs to read what this Florida teacher has to say about the state of our profession and what it means to be an educator in today's world. Teacher friends, I know you will relate! Non-teachers, please read this and understand that this IS our reality!

Image credit

Ten Things Tuesday 5/18/10

10 ways we are changing our eating habits:

1.    I no longer keep pop/soda at home (for my own consumption). That is, no more 12 packs or 2 liter bottles of Diet Coke in the house. I DO still but fountain drinks regularly when out of the house.
2.    Everyone is drinking WAY more water!
3.    The water being consumed in #2 is NOT coming from single-serve plastic bottles. We’re all about the cups/glasses, BPA-free reusable plastic, and stainless steel.
4.    ALL chicken we buy is now organic/free-range/humanely raised. After watching “Food, Inc.” about how chickens are raised in CAFOs (concentrating animal feeding operations), we HAD to make this change (CAFO procedures are well-documented in other sources, lest you think one movie caused this shift for us).
5.    All ground beef and ground turkey we now buy are organic/free-range/humanely raised. See #4 for why.
6.    We try to buy as much organic produce as possible, and certainly make sure that we buy ONLY organic if the item is on the “Dirty Dozen” list. Click here for some info on this topic.
7.    I make from scratch almost all of the bread we eat, including hamburger buns.
8.    We cook dinner almost nightly, never order D*min*’s pizza, and rarely eat out unless for a special reason.
9.    We participate weekly in a produce co-op, and now that the farmers’ market is open for the season, also shop there weekly.
10.    We pay MUCH more ATTENTION to food – what is is, how it was grown/prepared, what the impact of eating it is, and WHY we’re choosing to eat it.

Image credit

President's Cancer Panel Report

Go read The Good Human on this topic.  THIS is why we are eating and living differently... because cancer will NOT steal me, like it did my mom.

Why Queer the Census

Check it out - and count EVERYBODY in!

Why Queer the Census

Help Haiti!

Read Chris Sacca's blog post on how to help in Haiti - do it now!

The Ubiquity of Facebook

Just read a FABULOUS article on Slate.com - "Can Anyone Stop Facebook?"  Well worth a read!

Image credit

You should know...

Get more information here.

An Ornery Thanksgiving List

Obnoxious things I read in the newspaper today (the ads outweighed the news sections about 2:1):

1. Incredible holiday savings starting at 6 a.m.!
2. Open Friday at 5:30 a.m. - Thanksgiving Super Sale!
3. Earlybird specials, Friday only, 4 a.m.!
4. Open Thanksgiving Day 5 p.m. - 9 p.m.!
5. Super Black Friday Savings!
6. Over 599 Black Friday Doorbusters!
7. Starts 4:00 a.m. Friday!
8. Shop us first for UNBEATABLE PRICES!
9. Gooblepalooza! Open Thanksgiving Day at 12 p.m.!
10. Why wait? Shop Thanksgiving Day!
11. Family Gatherings begin at [name of retailer]!
12. Our lowest prices ever! We're open at 5 a.m. Friday!
13. Open 5:00 a.m. - doorbusters until noon!
14. Santa's discount shop opens on Thanksgiving night at midnight!
15. Gobble up the savings!
16. Line up early - get 'em before they're gone! Friday doorbuster specials!
17. 20% off when you shop 6 a.m. - 10 a.m.!

When did Thanksgiving become merely a prelude to what seems to now be the "real" holiday of retail insanity?

Image credit

The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting

The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting

This Time magazine article sums it up perfectly. LOVE the "no rescues" rule implemented by the principal of the school in Kansas. We tried that a few years ago as a 5th grade team... got some backlash, but also some support.

Now, how to get the parents who really NEED to read this to do so?

What is so hard to understand?

I'm Totally Disgusted

St. George paper rejects same-sex wedding announcement - ABC 4.com - Salt Lake City, Utah News


Posted using ShareThis

Mermaid or Whale?

Someone recently sent this to me via email, and it's too good not to share.

Mermaid or Whale?

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?”

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman in the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends - dolphins, sea lions, curious humans. They have an active sex life, and they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with all their sea friends. They play and swim in the seas of the world, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone and everything in the world.

Mermaids, on the other hand, don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis.. Fish or human? They wouldn’t have sex lives because stories tell that they kill men who get close to them. Besides, how could they have sex? Just look at them...where is IT? Therefore, they wouldn’t have kids either. And what man would want to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a piece of chocolate with my friends, and a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads. When there is no more room in our heads, the information and wisdom distribute out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think, “Good grief, just look how smart I am!”

Mermaid image credit

Whale image credit

World Water Week

Check out the TAP PROJECT, which is part of World Water Week (click here). The concept is that instead of giving you a glass of tap water for free, which of course is the usual practice, participating restaurants will charge $1.00 for the water and then donate the funds to a program that builds sustainable drinking water systems in developing parts of the world. We don't realize it from our comfy perch of being a 21st century developed nation, but access to clean drinking water is a huge issue in many parts of the world.

Of course, no restaurants in my area are listed as taking part, but plenty of establishments in major cities are. So if you can, pay for a glass of water in a restaurant during the week of March 22 - 28 and do a tiny thing to help create a major change.

Image credit